Report on the workshop Peace Building in our Quaker Community 21/04/2018

On Saturday 21^st April 25 Friends from our Area Meeting met in Hereford Meeting House to consider “Peace Building in our Quaker Community” with the facilitation of Rhiannon Grant who is Woodbrooke's tutor for Quaker Roles and Deputy Leader for the Centre for Research in Quaker Studies.

Quakers have a reputation as mediators in conflict throughout the world. Has this reputation led us to overlook developing the skills to resolve disputes within our own society? However the Quaker testimony of regarding “that of god” leading us to act with truth, integrity, equality, sustainability, simplicity and peace provide us with most of the tools to avoid or resolve disputes.

In the opening worship Rhiannon had quoted from Mathew 18 which refers to another causing “offence” and we were anxious to avoid that approach. Offence involves a person who has been offended and an offender, a dispute is between two parties both equal and both with history, personality and training. I came away with one phrase in my head - "safe and confident". A dispute can only be resolved when both parties feel safe and confident in their situation. If this is not the case then, regardless of the logic or truth behind the arguments being put forward, the dispute will not be properly resolved. Discomfort and suspicion will remain.

We looked at the ways that people naturally react to conflict, from the "bull", " I am right and you must see the strength of my position", to the “turtle " “I do not like this situation and I will retract into my shell and pretend it is not happening.". We positioned ourselves on a grid of these various personality traits, thinking first of our childhood; then, how this changed with maturity; and finally,how we thought our Meetings would react to conflict.

We practiced listening to each other and Rhiannon led us through some of the resources available for training and as tools for resolving problems, for example Meetings for Clearness, or something which Rhiannon has been developing a Meeting for Listening. The Mennonite church has a body of training materials grouped under the title "Bridge Building Ministries" these can be accessed via their webpages at www.cpas.org.uk

Do we have a tendency to try to communicate by Minute? Our Minutes are an essential part of our record keeping, but communication between individuals has to be by talking, listening, and being prepared to accept that sometimes we might be wrong.
PH